Weight!!!!!!!!!!

As the person that I am..... I have never liked when people could notice my real size in clothes..... unless they are super tight clothes and that is the entire purpose of me wearing them. Yesterday a most disturbing occurrence happened that made me feel a certain way about myself and the people around me. I am the definition of a girl that doesn't. hang out with too many other girls because I dont care or have the energy for the cattiness or whatever it is they want to call crazy behavior lol..... so I hang out with more guys than anything else not really sure if could say that that was the best idea as of current but whatever. Maybe it was because of the realization that one of them came up with. Maybe my behavior warranted these remark but it hurt that last little bit of pride that I have stored up for a cloudy day..... now a little bit of background, I am a normal build on most days however my weight has a tendency to yo-yo. When I say that I really mean I extra like pasta and working out is not something I do as much as I should especially when my work out habits are interrupted by something stupid...... so I have packed on a few pounds but that's okay because I'm working on losing them. However maybe as a personal general rule I only notice my weight Anne my Burt gets bigger - normal women would be okay will this, I'm not one of them!!!! I like when my butt is smallest and not noticeable when I don't want it to be. My friend said in the most nonchalant way anyone could insult anyone else (insult in my mind) that I was indeed becoming thick. In my mind that means fat, it took all I had not to cry. I know he didn't say the word fat but to me thick is just a man acceptable version of being fat. I wont say correct me if I'm wrong because this is how I feel. Feel free to leave your opinions on the matter, however how I feel is just my own personal well whatever it is its personal!!!! So after much discussion of trying to get me to understand that I was not being insulted but complimented (so backwards right?!!!!) Awkward silence the worst. So now it is my goal to not only make him eat his words but to also retract his previous statement...... he said I was too skinny when I first met him...... what!?!?! That statement I'll never understand, so here I've been up all morning trying to find out how to.fix the current problem I'm having...... maybe all those years of being told that I was too big is prolly needing with my head and I spent trying to pretend that those type of statements didn't hurt or make me want to lose weight. So now I feel I should just eat less times a day and drink water hut I know that eating is important. So I need to take face to the gym and work out but sort of depressed. So..... this will be my attempt at a daily blog that will monitor both mood, workout, and weight loss. The countdown starts today though I keep trying to push it to start at the beginning of the work week.... so yeah!!!!!! Hold on to your butts. So when I officially get up for the day.... imma try to take thigh pica and post them..... here we go!!!!!!